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a few tweaks...
Posted by gehrig on 20 April 2003, at 11:11 a.m., in response to Might as well robert, posted by Cyrus on 20 April 2003, at 1:48 a.m.
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for starters, the player is ambulatory challenged requiring a wheel chair. this is a special chair. on board, is the optical sensor that automatically inputs the sector release point of the ball. the sensor is contained in the small end of the whip "antenna" w/flag (u.s.), not uncommon on today's chairs. the height permits an almost vertical view of the wheel. only an iraqi pitstiff would try to remove that flag cum sensor.
and as luck would have it, the player is visually challenged such that he must use a star trek optical enhancer a la levar burton. this enables the player to observe miniscule defects in cards, like those cant "bangers". the visor as well, in infrared mode, scans for slight temperature variations as might be added by the player when holding longer, big cards. you've heard about a cold deck, well this is a hot deck.
the visor also emits and receives varying frequency infrared beams, directed at the dealer's shuffle, that, as in the baccarat scam, are fed to the on board pc to easily predict the order/proper strategy in certain card games. avoid low end joints with black and white surveillance monitors. thick rug joints have color which doesn't pick up the infrared flashes.
not only the sight challange, the player has a fierce case of seborrhea, the effluent of which is barely visible on the daubed cards at all card games that the player can get his hands on, using that same visor. and you punters thought that no system exists for the carnival games !
"life support" electrical systems on board preclude remote sensing by surveillance. any attempt to flood the player with microwave emmissions could cold cock his defibrillator, another disability driven device.
the roulette sector and card order computer feeds the correct playing decisions to the player through the hearing aids. to assuage surveillance concerns of past posting at the wheel game, the player "calls" his wager for the dealer to place.
still in development is the player's bionic hand which when perfected, will apply an electrostatic charge to selected cards, thus daubing the cards with the dealer's dandruff.
and you blokes thought that the chair players were only front loaders.
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