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Surveillance Alert!!

Posted by Jimmy B on 15 May 1998, at 2:07 p.m.

Sources close to me and working for a large Las Vegas surveillance firm, identified for legal reasons as the "G" Company, have told me that new technology recently acquired from an Australian entrepreneur may revolutionize surveillance techniques. The process is called "derriere recognition" and is accomplished through the use of "derriere portraits".

The "G" Company, with financing provided by a major Las Vegas casino owner identified as Mr. "W", has entered in contracts with a large commode manufacturer to install high grade and sophisticated photographic equipment with which to produce "derriere portraits". The technologhy is still being worked out as it appears at the present most such protraits appear similar. However, the "G" Company scientists are working diligently to overcome the identification process.

My sources have confided to me that on occasion they are able to obtain facial shots of cautious advantage players who inspect the premises before use. I personally have seen a picture of one player taken in this fashion. I know he was unsuspecting because he had a rather blank expression on his face and his head was silhoutted by the underside of a church seat.

I inquired as to how they intended to direct advantage players to these rooms and they told me that executives from Mr. "W"'s casino are negotiating with a major Chicago candy company to produce ex-lax covered peanuts to be given to advantage players as comps. These executives are apparently so excited about this concept that they are teaching senior surveillance executives to shine shoes so that they can be stationed in these rooms. Advantage players are advised not to accept shoe shines from casino employees wearing Brooks Brother's suits or Salvatore Ferragamo ties!

Mr. "W" and his executives apparently feel that if this concept works they may place some bj tables in these rooms. However, they have been advised by a national gaming consultant identified as Mr. "O.V." that some less intellectually inclined casino manages may have difficulty identifying the "drop" in those circumstances.

Players are advised not to scoff at this technology as apparently it has been used by a large national professional organization as a low cost alternative to a brain scan. This technology will give new meaning to the definition of "burn joint".

Until the location of the casinos using this technology is clarified, it is suggested that players utilize the facilities at the national bus company station. Of course, always be on the alert for any standard deviants.

Jimmy B L.L.R.C Head of Advantage Player Security


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